Love Truly Hurts
by xxxSpicyFlamexxx
Summary: Izaya finally did it, he got rid of the strongest man in Ikebukuro. Except...he wasn't happy, he was actually regretting everything. One-Shot.


_It hurts._

The raven was spinning around in his chair slowly; eyes completely glazed over. Today, he was enduring the fact that he had won. The informant finally killed off the ravage beast, and now he finally free. Yet, why wasn't he happy? Why wasn't he dancing on the man's grave? It just didn't make any sense, he had been crying for the past three days. Over Shizuo! His enemy…the one that he killed..why didn't he hire someone to kill the monster? Then, maybe he wouldn't be feeling this harsh pain in his chest, growing stronger and stronger.

He hadn't done any work for two days; always getting messages from Shiki, Shinra, Celty, Kadota. Why wouldn't they leave him alone already?! What did he do deserve this? He didn't…do anything. His bangs shadowed his eyes as he felt water sting his eyes. No, don't cry. That's pathetic and weak! Even, if he told himself this, he couldn't stop the tear from trickling down his cheek – beginning to spill more tears, that landed on the ebony-painted desk.

His sobs were silent, unknown to everyone in Ikebukuro. That's right, he's all alone. Why was he so afraid of that fact? Wasn't he always alone..? Oh right, Namie was here until she found out what he did. How did it affect the women so much for her to quit coming? "I don't get it.." He whispered; choking on a sob.

This wasn't fair. The world wasn't fair. For once in his life, he wanted to die. What else was he supposed to do? Shizuo was the only one that kept him entertained…not alone…Shizuo actually accepted who he was, putting up with his teasing, getting chased around. IT WASN'T FAIR.

"FUCK."

The raven grabbed his laptop before throwing it at the ground, pushing his desk over and picking up the chair, that was extremely heavy, and pushing it out the window that was smashed earlier.

Why was he acting like this now? What was this feeling? It hurt…it hurt..really bad…his heart, it felt like it was about to burst. That thought made him cover his chest slowly before hugging himself, the tears never ceasing. "Shizu-Chan.." The informant whispered weakly as he dragged himself down the hall and into his bedroom; locking the door before letting himself fall to the floor.

Nothing mattered anymore…he threw away someone who actually enjoyed being around him, now he was all alone. The male curled up into a ball before squeezing his eyes shut; shivering slightly.

Hate.

Love.

Sadness.

Lust.

Happiness.

Jealousy.

Why these feelings? He was supposed to be God! It wasn't fair, nothing was fair…he just wanted to rot. Izaya finally let himself go; crying violently as he screamed the blonde's name; as if that would bring him back. This is annoying. Irritating, he hated it so much! Yet, he wanted Shizuo to hold him tightly and whisper sweet-nothings into his ear.

"Shizu.." He couldn't really speak anymore, all of that crying and screaming made his throat sore. Did he love the blonde? He did. He hated the other so much, that he fell in love. It hurts..

_Love really does hurt. _

'Damn you.' He thought as he stayed on the ground. Izaya didn't know how many hours it had been, but it obviously been too many for him to bear. The male forced himself off of the floor, before making it into the bathroom that was attached to the bathroom.

The informant turned the lights on and searched the cabinets before taking out a small, white pill bottle. The raven fumbled with the cap then poured out a large amount of pills before staring at himself in the mirror. Everything about him, was pathetic. His eyes were red and puffy, making him punch the glass with his other hand before throwing the pills into his mouth.

The raven swallowed them all with a cringe, everything beginning to make him grow dizzy until his stomach started to rumble, making him vomit up blood, tumbling over onto the ground. His word was growing dark as he shivered, coughing and wheezing. This was it. This was the end…he'll be able to..be with Shizuo.

That thought, made him smile even if the pain was burning his insides. "Shiz…u…." He managed to choke out before slowly closing his eyes, the smile still plastered on his face. His hand stopped twitching, and his breathing stopped completely.

His world began to turn bright and he found himself standing in a field of flowers. He was wearing a white suit, and there was a blonde-haired man standing in front of him. "Shizu-Chan." The raven spoke as he looked up at the other.

"Izaya?" That voice, it made him so happy. He wanted to hug Shizuo so bad right now. But just as he did that, the blond held up his hand.

"Eh?"

Shizuo shook his head, "I'm not letting you die. You idiot.." He whispered and quickly pulled the raven into a hug, kissing the top of his head.

'No.'

Everything began to fade, Shizuo wore a sad, pained smile as he too, faded away. The warmth disappeared and his eyes snapped open; beginning to cough violently, looking up to see a worried face of Shinra.

"Izaya? You're awake?" He could see that the informant was looking too well, and quickly called for Celty to come in. It didn't take long for the raven to get to the underground doctor's apartment, placed on a steel table as he was being /fixed/.

'Shizu-Chan..' That's all he could think of this whole time, not realizing that Shinra was snapping his finger. "Oh…" He whispered in a hoarse voice, looking over to meet the doctor's gaze. "Izaya, what did you do to yourself?" That question..wasn't going to be answered.

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><p><em>~~~~~TimeSkip~~~~~<em>

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><p>It's been a year since Shizuo died, and Izaya tried to kill himself. He was doing much better; Namie being back as she was working on a document. The raven was typing on the keyboard of his computer, pausing as he felt a sudden breeze run up his spine.<p>

He swore that he could hear someone's voice; 'Izaya, I'll always be here for you…just don't die until it's time.' That's what he thought he could hear, but quickly shrugged it off and went back to work.

In the end, love really hurts. But, that's the price someone pays for falling in love with their enemy.

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><p>~~~End.~~~<p>

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed this poorly written one-shot! I was in the mood for something feelish.~ <strong>


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